Playlist

My go-to songs that I can never bear to press 'skip' whenever they play on shuffle (in no ascending order):

Told myself you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company.

Somebody That I Used To Know is my all time favourite break up song. It doesn't matter if the break up linked to this song happened 4 years ago, it's still a bittersweet song for me. It's not about the person you left, it's about the feelings.... and what kind of feelings exactly, I have no idea. It's definitely not a feeling of longing, becos that relationship is dead. It's not about missing the person, becos I don't at all. Perhaps it's becos there was no proper closure. But what kind of closure?

It may also just be the knowledge of being used, although I know fully well it went both ways.

I'm just a very spiteful and selfish person. Your feelings are not of interest to me. My feelings are the most important. I just cannot stand someone else doing to me what I did unto them, maybe that's why although it was a rebound for me, I hated that it was a rebound for him too. We were 18,19...... We were so young and hateful. We hated the same things, until we both hated each other. Sounds so poetic but there was nothing poetic about teenage angst, especially when it's amplified in a 'relationship'. Hahaha it's weird to talk about it 4 years on.. I would still look the other way if we bumped into each other.

I would still curse you if I see you on the streets – in my heart or out loud to whoever I'm with – becos I'm still not the bigger person.


Like when you said you were so happy you could die.